365 Grateful - Month of Love, February

My February 365 Grateful 

A 365days project of gratefulness, of small and big things, taken a day at a time.
Let everything be appreciated. Let the gratefulness begin.

Inspired by Hailey Bartholomew's #365grateful project

2 Feb: Grateful for shared food,
served with love :) <3

3 Feb: Grateful for a fun duplays night.
Wishing I can play already... If only
may guts na ako :) 

4 Feb: Grateful for time to visit the house of God today.

5 Feb: Grateful for a healthy (it's veggie paratha!)
and very lazeez dinner date with migo Jojo 

6 Feb: Grateful for being able to witness a very beautiful
sunset (i'm so in love with sunsets) and to be able
to celebrate and welcome a friend's birth day.

7 Feb: Grateful for another birthday celebration, for McDonald's
food and for laughter and good friends.

9 Feb: Grateful for a beautiful sunset sky,
for being able to witness God's magnificence.

10 Feb: Grateful for the soft yet prickly feel
of the grass on all frisbee players feet.

12 Feb: Grateful for beautiful mornings and sunset skies, and for a few time to tutor Lucas (kahit nakaka HB)

13 Feb: Grateful for witnessing a friend welcome another
year of life, and for very delicious food.

14 Feb: Grateful for a post-7th year anniversary
and Valentines dinner date, altogether.

15 Feb: Grateful for the time to witness a beautiful
sunset together, and for love shared with nature.

16 Feb: Grateful for bringing happiness
to my nephews and niece,
for chocolates that kids (and adults) enjoy.

17 Feb: Grateful for another good book
to read and it's about friendship 

19 Feb: Grateful for The Legend of Korra: Book of Spirits.

18 Feb: Grateful for the time to finish one entry 

21 Feb: Grateful for comfort food.

22 Feb: Grateful for receiving the word of God.

23 Feb:Grateful for these loving words our Lucas
tells me after every phone call.
(Pic grabbed after Google search.
I do not own credits for this. But thanks for I am able to use it.)

24 Feb: Grateful for time to catch up with good old friends
from high school, over good food and ice cream! 

25 Feb: Grateful for time to run again,
even for a few minutes and even
without my coach and inspiration 

26 Feb: Grateful for Skype time with my two loves
in Pinas  i love you both kaayo! 

27 Feb: Grateful for play time.

365 Grateful - January Project

My January 365 Grateful 

A 365days project of gratefulness, of small and big things, taken a day at a time.
Let everything be appreciated. Let the gratefulness begin.

Inspired by Hailey Bartholomew's #365grateful project

1 Jan: Pasta & chicken with my Migo and our Lucas.
Grateful for the blessings of work, and family, and food.

2 Jan: Grateful for this man, for the laughter,
and tears his presence brought my heart.

3 Jan: Grateful for a good book, for ice cream,
for a safe playground, for a wonderful weather,
and for the gift of life, death and rebirth.

4 Jan: Grateful for a cool weather, for music
and for my watch (the company I have in each run),
and for my motivator and/or spiritual running coach 

5 Jan: Grateful for a delicious dinner shared with a loved one.

6 Jan: Grateful for another good book.

7 Jan: Grateful for a slight drizzle... It feels like home  and grateful for Rain really, it never fails to create a sense
of serenity in me.

8 Jan: Grateful for spare time
to read a good book.

9 Jan: Grateful, and tired, feet.
Work and friendly-date-with-my-ex-bf with a purpose 

10 Jan: Grateful for a morning run with my Migo...

11 Jan: Grateful for newfound friends through Christ.
May this year be a spiritual one, for me, for us.

12 Jan: Grateful for a very cold date night with my Migo,
enjoying a walk around Al Satwa with ice cream.

13 Jan: Grateful for time to be able to watch an intense,
and support my Migo's, Duplays Monday...
And for a healthy and athletic lifestyle.

15 Jan: Grateful for the will to run,
despite the chilling weather.

16 Jan: Grateful for a night of endless music
listening to my #ukelele musikero

17 Jan: Grateful for the strength to finish a 10k run,
because all the while I thought it impossible
for a non-runner like me.

18 Jan: Grateful for being together on a weekend,
although missing our Lewis.
But we'll see you soon, little one!

19 Jan: Grateful for a relaxing-pre-marathon-jitters
 night run with my ex-boyfriend.
(Selfie lang, I can't resist my sweaty face) 

20 Jan: Grateful for a jolly bestfriend.

21 Jan: Grateful for my late afternoon snack -
chocolate drink and banana :)

22 Jan: Grateful for the few minutes we
were outside, together as a family (though
still missing our youngest little angel.)

24 Jan: Today, I offer the day's achievements to God. I'm grateful for Migo's strength and willpower for running his first ever 42km marathon. His achievement is all his, but somehow I feel a part of it. And I'm grateful for the very supportive Dragon Warriors Dubai team, for staying til the rise of the noon sun, just to cheer him on in his last few meters to the finish line. And most especially to coach Nerza for running with Migo in his last 2k, spiritually pushing him along the way.
And I'm grateful also for this day for being able to conquer my first ever official, I mean with medal, 10k run.

25 & 26 Jan: Twentyfive: grateful for a day of rest and then followed by...
Twentysix: grateful for a day for the Lord, had a BIBLE study in our own abode. Praise the Lord!

27 Jan: Grateful for the energy left,
after all the work and chores,
to tutor a little our Lucas.

28 Jan: Grateful for my first successful ampalaya dish 
hope it tastes delish!

29 Jan: Grateful for time to tutor our Lucas
despite the tiring work day, and for junkfood 

31 Jan: Grateful for a DUCE weekend,
for the Champion's trophy and
for a free gift from a good friend @avyleeena 

Woe

Before I start, allow me to justify my words.

I've always considered myself an introvert. For as simple as, if everyone and everything I care about leave me, I know I can deal with life on my own. Melancholic maybe. But still, living.

When upset or saddened, I prefer to be alone with my music, or with a seemingly interesting book, or with a pen and a notebook.

In this mollification, I recollect a gloomy memory. Although I know it does not make one feel better for bringing up the past to the consciousness, especially when it is a depressing one. In fact, it does more damage than good. But there are certain times that you just want to dig it up for release, because even though you were given an answer as to "how could you," sometimes it is never sufficient as to "why." And because of that, you look deep into your broken heart and shattered soul for the real remedy. You drown yourself of the pain and hurt. Only then will you heal, after materializing your tattered but mended self, in YOUR OWN pace, in YOUR OWN time. Because it is ONLY YOU who knows how it feels to be pained with such intensity. Aside from the fact that it is ONLY YOU who has a definitive say on your life, in all its complexities, with all the good and bad things, with all wounded and beautiful memories.

So this is my release. This time, I've chosen a good old friend and foe -- poetry, or so I think it is. 

     When I leave this beach, the sands will remember me

     along with the music that flows through my body.

    I will be known as the lady who reminisced about the good times

     to try to mend and let go of something lonely.

    I wonder, does she giggle too?

     As I remember the first touch of your hands on my back,

     at the warmth of your caressing palms, my insides giggled longingly.

    I wonder, when you kissed her, did you let go of me in your dreams?

     As I remember the first kiss and the first embrace we shared,

     passionate and strong, our lips met,

     your arms locked me up with such might, you seem afraid to let go.

   I wonder, when you come to her, does she think of the universe as I do?

     As I remember the first time we made love,

     the way our bodies moved in motion,

     bound by sweat and whispered nothings,

     as we consume each other's ardent emotions in unison.

    I hold on to my breath as I bathe in the golden rays of the settling sun,

     the way I am holding on to my love for you -- smothering

     but true and eternal... forever.

I give this poem a title: Flow

credits to the FB page, Lessons Learned in Life

Lost Love Letter to My Mama

Mother’s Day may be around the corner. But this letter for my Mama is way overdue – after 30 days of worldly existence, 20 years of puberty & almost 7 years of motherhood – I finally am at the point where I really and wholeheartedly appreciate my Mama for all the efforts and sacrifices she has done. I have to, and hate at the same time, admit that I’ve never had a smooth relationship with her. I’ve always been envious of girl friends that’ve such close ties with their moms. My Mama and I have grown apart as she continues to nag at me. I’ve distanced myself by my silent rebellion, drowned out my “daughter-hood” in self-inflicted drama and anger. Music and a few close-knit friends filled up the motherly love I felt I was denied.

But the kind of distance we now have is geographical in nature, and it is quite novel & exhilarating for me. It has probably taken its toll on me, as the saying goes, “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” This is my first time ever to be so far away from them, from my hometown. It also holds true what is said that you only appreciate something fully when they’re gone… but for my case, when they’re out of grasp. 

So, here is a list I will be forever grateful to my Mama for:

• Thank you for waking up early to prepare us for school; for that warm Milo or milk that sometimes we intentionally forget to drink; for running after jeepneys to get us seats; for bringing us our newly cooked lunch, despite the scorching midday sun; for staying by the window to write down our assignments in case we missed it.
• Thank you for waking up early to tidy up the house; for doing the dishes and laundry; for ironing the clothes with the old-fashioned coal-iron.
• Thank you for training us to do our own laundry; for training us to do some of the household chores.
• Thank you for always being there during our recognition and graduation days, especially during the ones where we get to be on stage and you pin our medals and ribbons to our lovely dresses; for dressing up for the occasion, showing up as the most proud and beautiful Mama.
• Thank you for fixing the family’s breakfast, lunch and dinner, around the small budgets you can afford.
• Thank you for scolding us and for strictly implementing afternoon naps; for looking out for us if we’ve gone out to play for a long time; for calling us out to be home by 6 PM.
• Thank you for sending us to the manghihilot (native healers) when we are weakened by fever, colds and cough and we regain strength the day after the hilot.
• I remember the first tooth extraction and vaccination when I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, and you were boasting how courageous I was because I didn’t cry, not even wince. Thank you for that morale booster and for the ice cream treats thereafter.
• Thank you for tutoring me all throughout elementary.
• Thank you for practicing with me the very first poem I had to memorize for my Kinder 1 Recognition presentation. I have forgotten the poem but I could never forget the evening you asked me to rehearse it with you.
• Thank you for giving me birthday parties, complete with balloons, cake and ice cream, even though I know we really don’t have extra for such.
• Thank you for my 16^th birthday gift – the acoustic guitar. The one I asked for and you declined only to give it as a surprise.
• Thank you for giving small advices on raising my kids, the ones that science and medicine cannot heal.

But most of all, thank you for keeping the family together, even if you were not acknowledged. I’m sorry we run short of your expectations but I hope you know that you’ve brought us up good. You have a weird way of showing your love but we’ve all been considered weird by somebody. I now realize that you only kept nagging because you wanted us to perform and to encourage us to be good at what we want to be… One thing a mother is best at.

Mama with some of her apos and me and Jollibee

For The Future of Earth dwellers

In this foreign place where I now reside, I don’t think I had an extreme culture shock that anybody else may have experienced, or may think that I may experience. Maybe because Dubai is an open city and Satwa (my current home) seemed like “mini Pinas” where almost every person you meet is a Filipino. Although there are a few things that had me gawk, for instance, the abaya-dressed women while taking a swim at the beach and the way most men look at women (like they could just tear off your clothes by simply staring at you). But we get used to it. Although there’s one daily occurrence - especially during summer! Oh gosh! – which I will never adapt to: the olfactory experience in a public transport. Shesh!

Aside from that ‘olfactory experience’ in a public transport, on a normal day at the train station, I get my usual dose of high blood pressure. This is no joke, and it’s got nothing to do with the smell or any of the other five senses but more of people’s interaction with one another, regardless of the nationality or gender. And it’s not nice. It’s not nice to push or shout to another just so you could get onto the train first, or to be frowned upon because you’re old or because you have to drag your kids.

In a world of challenged norms and character, I wish we remain rooted to the positive side of our human nature. Not to push but to give way. Not to shout but to teach. Not to grab but to share. Not to glare but to be aware. Not to frown but to smile. Not to overpower but to build strength. Not to take over but to lead.

There’s always a good way, the right way, to make ends meet. To look into a brightly colored lens is to see the world in a happy place. Let the good vibes roll; pass on what’s beautiful and worthy. Pass on the ideas and teachings that value humanity to our kids. The future habitants of our world learn by what they see, so let us practice what we preach.

I end this with a quote I read somewhere, but unable to remember and give credit to the writer: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” I do not wish to sound like Mother Theresa, more so think that I live a very moral life. I just wish the world would be a better place if we be more kind to one another.

Jumeirah Beach Residences, Dubai; Aug 2013