Mother’s Day may be around the corner. But this letter for my
Mama is way overdue – after 30 days of worldly existence, 20 years of puberty
& almost 7 years of motherhood – I finally am at the point where I really
and wholeheartedly appreciate my Mama for all the efforts and sacrifices she
has done. I have to, and hate at the same time, admit that I’ve never had a
smooth relationship with her. I’ve always been envious of girl friends that’ve
such close ties with their moms. My Mama and I have grown apart as she continues
to nag at me. I’ve distanced myself by my silent rebellion, drowned out my
“daughter-hood” in self-inflicted drama and anger. Music and a few close-knit
friends filled up the motherly love I felt I was denied.
But the kind of distance we now have is geographical in nature,
and it is quite novel & exhilarating for me. It has probably taken its toll
on me, as the saying goes, “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” This is my
first time ever to be so far away from them, from my hometown. It also holds
true what is said that you only appreciate something fully when they’re gone…
but for my case, when they’re out of grasp.
So, here is a list I will
be forever grateful to my Mama for:
- Thank you for waking up early to prepare us for school; for
that warm Milo or milk that sometimes we intentionally forget to drink;
for running after jeepneys to get us seats; for bringing us our newly
cooked lunch, despite the scorching midday sun; for staying by the window
to write down our assignments in case we missed it.
- Thank you for waking up early to tidy up the house; for
doing the dishes and laundry; for ironing the clothes with the
old-fashioned coal-iron.
- Thank you for training us to do our own laundry; for
training us to do some of the household chores.
- Thank you for always being there during our recognition and
graduation days, especially during the ones where we get to be on stage
and you pin our medals and ribbons to our lovely dresses; for dressing up
for the occasion, showing up as the most proud and beautiful Mama.
- Thank you for fixing the family’s breakfast, lunch and
dinner, around the small budgets you can afford.
- Thank you for scolding us and for strictly implementing
afternoon naps; for looking out for us if we’ve gone out to play for a
long time; for calling us out to be home by 6 PM.
- Thank you for sending us to the manghihilot (native
healers) when we are weakened by fever, colds and cough and we regain
strength the day after the hilot.
- I remember the first tooth extraction and vaccination when
I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, and you were boasting how courageous I was
because I didn’t cry, not even wince. Thank you for that morale booster
and for the ice cream treats thereafter.
- Thank you for tutoring me all throughout elementary.
- Thank you for practicing with me the very first poem I had
to memorize for my Kinder 1 Recognition presentation. I have forgotten the
poem but I could never forget the evening you asked me to rehearse it with
you.
- Thank you for giving me birthday parties, complete with
balloons, cake and ice cream, even though I know we really don’t have
extra for such.
- Thank you for my 16th birthday gift – the acoustic
guitar. The one I asked for and you declined only to give it as a surprise.
- Thank you for giving small advices on raising my kids, the
ones that science and medicine cannot heal.
But most of all, thank you for keeping the family together, even
if you were not acknowledged. I’m sorry we run short of your expectations but I
hope you know that you’ve brought us up good. You have a weird way of showing
your love but we’ve all been considered weird by somebody. I now realize that
you only kept nagging because you wanted us to perform and to encourage us to be
good at what we want to be… One thing a mother is best at.
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| Mama with some of her apos and me and Jollibee |
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